kittens and kids

i feel like these kittens are my kids. i tried cleaning the bathroom the other day (where they reside at night) and only succeeded after i put the little munchkins away. the problem with kittens, as well as kids, is that they WANT TO EXPLORE EVERYTHING. it's like they think they're lewis and clark or something. (sacaguwea is nowhere to be found). if there is any inch of unexplored, unsniffed territory, IT MUST BE EXPLORED. hm, i've never touched this faucet, i've never climbed in this cupboard, i've never crawled behind this space, I BET I COULD FIT THERE!

now, sometimes this is completely adorable and other times it is completely obnoxious. exploring while i try to clean the bathroom, for instance, is not an opportune time. it's like they're rubbing against my legs purring, "mom! mom! can i help! mom! mom! look what i can do!" it's so, so cute. just not appropriate when i'm bent over scooping their poop. :)

how do moms with twins function? haha.

i guess when i say, "the problem with kittens, as well as kids," i don't really mean problem. inconvenience, yes, problem, no. over time, we start to lose that curiosity, that wonder, that adventurous spirit that belongs to kids and kittens. through the slosh of 5am alarms to refinancing to x% interest rates where does that go? why do we stop swinging on swings, rolling down hills, and finger painting?

sometimes luther and roxye will be doing something unbelievably adorable and i just have to stop whatever i'm doing and take a picture, or pet them, or snuggle them. they're only kittens once, and only for a short time. same is true with motherhood i guess. it's important not to get caught up in what we think is "important" when what's really important is right in front of us creating fingerpainted masterpieces with a side of bedhead and unmatched socks.

it's those little "inconveniences" that we later realize weren't problems at all.

my cute little problems of fluff turned into pleasures.

GOD CAME DOWN - ex 19, heb 12

the Lord came down, Moses went up
Moses spoke, thunder answered in return
Sinai quaked, the people stood still
Lightning flashed and struck, and the staff struck the desert hill

Smoke came round, veiled what'd soon be clear
Trumpets sound, the magnitude blasting out our ears
Three days, of consecrating and obstaining
All preparing, for what He'd bestow

One would go.  So moses went up.  With staff in hand.  In God's hand.

the storm was dark, light came down
weak with fear, the mighty reigned down
sin cannot gaze, perfection graced down
THE LORD to lift us up when we were down (He came down)

Sinai shakes, it won't remain
Moses mediates, God's law and name
Zion stands, unmoved, though it shakes
Jesus, for us, forever mediates.

forever mediate, the new covenant.  for our sake.  For our sake.

you sit there, in your chair, waiting for things to fall right in your lap

you're unaware, that i don't care, about each of your cowardly excuses, cause i don't say a thing

you treat her like nothing,
you've thrown her away
how can you expect her to you love you,
to be yours, to stay?
now she's just a stranger,
someone you don't know
but it's not like you care, no,
she's gotta go

i'm working so hard, so long,
all hours of the day
how can you stand yourself just sitting,
living this way?
you're doing nothing,
you've lost all hope
you say you're not qualified
but you're certified to mope

to preserve your honor, your dignity
i don't tell a soul what's hurting me.
i wouldn't want them to lose respect for the man i love
this is one thing i'm intolerant of.

i'm angry, i'm silent, God knows i can't respect inaction

i'm praying, for a miracle,


a year later im sitting here
the tides sure have changed

memories are the greatest gift we have

i'll keep those precious memories
as treasures
buried in my mind
until my gears run slower
and the clocks unwind

the tides can't take them
and hide them
beneath the piling sand
see the sea dollars decay?
weighed down by the filthy land(?)

but as long as my beating heart
matches the pattern
of the wave
no sediment can take away
the memories i have saved

(i guess i should write them down since it's inevitable my gears will some day stop.)

2013 and beyond.

two thousand thirteen and beyond
(to infinity and beyond)

1. read all the collections of lemony snicket writings in the library (excluding a series of unfortunate events.  i've been fortunate to read those before).  he rocks my socks off. and i love his voice in writing and i miss reading his books and aren't the baudelaires the coolest kids ever.
2. run a 10k.  yeah, i got kind of lazy last year.  still ran, but didn't reach my goal of a half-marathon.  i'm being hopeful and just aiming for the 10k rather than the half.  we'll see, maybe i'll be spontaneously awesome.  that'd be cool.
3. write a song a month. and perform it. or record it. but at least do it and enjoy it.
4. finish breaking bad ...  the episodes that are filmed that is.  if there was a magical way for me to watch the coming season i'd so be there.  this requires me to be lazy and probably most likely sit in my sweat pants and cuddle with a pillow and have a fuzzy blanket draped over my lazy body.  i'm really digging run-ons today, but that's nothing new.
5. get new glasses frames.  ones i wanna wear everywhere, all the time, hey look a rhyme. 
6. get all a's.  again.  this might be wishful thinking.
7. write kanyarat a letter every month.  she's growing up so fast.  i guess i have too.
8. make a spain album.  i have a few 8x10s of some spain prints but that's it.  so sad!  this really needs to be a priority.
9. take a day off to just read a book all day long.  again, something lazy, WHICH IS AWESOME.  that means i can be lazy and then CHECK IT OFF A LIST.  best accomplishment ever.
10. buy fresh flowers for no specific reason.  this was on my 101 in 1001 list but never accomplished.  i really like it.  i'm gunna do it. :)

can i be that understanding friend?

can i be that understanding friend?
the one who listens when the world won't bend?

to be there, when no one else is, for thee
and love you in every capacity.
if i can hold respect for your decision,
yet never understand your goal or vision
so be it.

i'll hold onto your dear company
then set my own emotions free.
because i'm not you and you're not me
but i know you're going where God wants you to be.

can i be that understanding friend?
the one who stands with you to the end?